Now that it’s Friday 5PM, I only have one working week left in my career at this point. Over ten years of doing the same thing to move into another kind of a lifestyle. At this point I think it’s important to talk about a fairly under emphasized aspect of life coaching.
As you may or may not know, I have some travel plans. In the upcoming years I’ll be going to some places I actually want to go myself, and I’ll be going to some places I don’t personally want to go but my wife wants to go. As I’m roaming around the world and experiencing life, I have no doubt that I am going to miss being in a static place called home.
After all, my entire teenage to young adult life was centered around this experience of being constantly homesick to a mirage of a home. What is home for me? Is it Korea? Is it California? Is it the Pacific Northwest? I have no idea, but one thing I could tell is that it wasn’t upstate New York. But ironically I lived there and for practical purposes it was definitely a home to me.
When I’m on a foreign continent for the nth time, I will think of the simple walks I had with my dogs in my neighborhood. I will think of having plans to go to jiu jitsu in the evening. Thankfully I’ve gotten very good at recognizing the treasures of the ordinary life.
When I’m home, I need to recognize that I’m living the treasured ordinary life. But even that’s too passive. When I’m living my life like right now, I need to realize that I had made an active choice to experience this treasured ordinary life. Just like how I needed commitment to leave my job, I needed a commitment to enter this life I call currently ordinary.
I am not a victim to my life. I chose everything about my life. I can’t forget about that fact.
In life coaching we focus more on the active decisions of life. Working towards your goals, acting instead of waiting, moving past your resistance, and so on. Up to a certain point, you will actually fill your life with so much more “life” than you ever had because we all live inside the construct of our mind that tends to limit how much life we can live.
But I find that most coaches don’t work on the opposite side of the coin. When your life is at capacity, regardless of what that means or is for you, you need to be able to make stopping decisions of life. There may be something you really, really want like it’s your soul mission to accomplish it. Is it in you to not accomplish it and not suffer?
This again frequently gets misinterpreted as “can you give up on all of your dreams”. Giving up is done in spite of wanting to continue your pursuit. It will feel like you’re forced to stop against your will and it will turn you into a victim.
We have to objectively understand that we are not the center of the universe and the missions that feel so sacred and meaningful to us, as if it defines the meaning for our existence, even those have no meaning outside of our mind. This is not something said to step on your optimism. This is not something to tone your expectations and hope. This is the objective truth.
Can you let go of your most sacred wants? Can you let your life be defined by your today instead of your potential? Can you walk the path of a person who owns their life? This will be a great conversation to have with yourself and your coach.
Billy Seol
July Life Coach
julylifecoach.com
