I talk a lot about how even when you’re doing something with a lot of passion, if you’re attaching strings on it you’re going to be let down when you don’t get the expected output. Many of the things I teach people, I learn the hard way; and this lesson I learned a lot from jiujitsu.
I’m not even being humble when I say this, but I’m like the most mediocre athlete there is and you know what? This is a generous estimation of my athletic capabilities. I didn’t do ANYTHING related to sports or moving my body until my THIRTIES. THIRTIES, I TELL YOU!!! I never played a casual game of pickup basketball in high school or college, I tried kicking a soccer ball once then practically died, blah blah. I was never an athletic kid and I just had very little interest in playing sports.
My movement journey began with pilates. Then I transitioned into BJJ and I loved BJJ, but for some strange reason I expected myself to do really well simply because I loved it so much. I studied it all the time, I trained practically every day, and I loved seeing myself progress.
Then I started getting worn out because there simply is no end to development in jiujitsu. I want to progress fast and beat up everybody, but because it’s a collective sport everyone gets better WITH you. Of course I can beat up any newcomer but the novelty of beating up someone who doesn’t know anything wears out pretty quickly and I’m not necessarily rewarded all the time for my diligent training. Nobody is there to celebrate me as a duty, nobody is there to be beat up by me for my ego.
Around this time I lost my competitions and my car got totaled so I had less and less reasons to train regularly. I used to miss training only if there was an exceptional reason but over time I started training if there was an exceptional reason. But since my last Hawai’i visit I fell in love with training again because I saw the value of training to people who trained for the first time. Since then I’ve been making it a point to start training more regularly.
It stings to the ego when you see people improve so much faster than you, because of course you have to pay the price of not training when they did. But it’s okay; I started training with zero experience and now I’m starting over with non-zero experience. When I thought of it like this suddenly I found a lot of motivation in the familiar feeling of “I don’t know anything, so the only way to move is up”.
With my new old development I’ve been asking a lot of people questions because I’m re-learning everything and every time I learn something new I’m just so grateful because nobody owes me an answer. Just because I like teaching people doesn’t mean anybody else does; but I’m in a room full of people who foster my growth as long as I lower myself and offer myself their teachings. I leave the mat with so much gratitude these days.
I made a promise to myself to train at least three times a week for six weeks. Next week will be week 4. What will I learn this week? How will I spectacularly fail this week? And most importantly how will I love training this week? I look forward to everything the week will offer.
Aside from jiujitsu I would like to thank Lauren Olean, Tamara Stupalova, Mair Lemus, and Ariel Shearman for their help in me trying to figure out some personal life quests. With that said, here are the writings for this week!
You say you’re sorry, but how do you actually change your ways outside of just thinking you’re going to do a better job next time? Learn how to practice repentance.
Hey, I’m not a religious guy but that doesn’t mean I don’t pray for people. I’m praying for certain people in this time of my life and I’d love for you to meet them through me.
We’re all playing this game called life, but these days it doesn’t seem like everyone’s playing by the same rules. Then what if we can play a completely different game, more optimized for us?
I hate it when I feel blocked, when I feel like I have to procrastinate. What are some thought patterns that make us unconsciously participate in these states? Learn more so you can avoid them!
Do you like dogs? Do you wanna learn more about my dogs? Say no more.
I’m a minority guy who finds himself in minority situations sometimes. These are my reflections on those experiences.
This week I wrote a lot about my life, and while that may be boring to you if you’re not interested in me as a person I sincerely believe the lessons will be meaningful to you. Also, I know it was me who decided to not write to you every day but I kinda miss talking to you guys and getting replies back. So maybe I’ll be writing more than once a week when I feel like it. I just don’t want to contribute to digital space accumulation and whatnot, so if you still want to follow me outside of your inbox bookmark my Substack or creator page or Reddit account!