The intense freeze as you gaze into your empty screen. The 10,000 monkeys rampaging through your brain while no intelligible sentence comes out of your fingers. Things feel overwhelming to the point of incapacitating you. Something that felt so captivating suddenly feels like fingernails scratching a blackboard. While not everyone is diagnosed with ADHD, these symptoms commonly attributed to ADHD can be experienced by anyone.
I know my fair share of dealing with ADHD, both as a practitioner working with clients with ADHD and dealing with my instances of the above phenomenon. Even before I engaged deeply with Buddhism I worked with myself well enough to deliver many projects for my coaching business. Many of my first successful coaching experiences have to do with clients with ADHD.
Middle Way
What difference does Buddhism make? Well, all the existing methodologies of working with ADHD are based on one assumption: ADHD is a thing. It already happened, the brain is configured like that: therefore all the experiences are bound to happen and so it’s best to learn how to specifically deal with this brain.
I am not here to deny the existence of ADHD. Without denying the natural configuration of the brain that makes it susceptible to the ADHD experiences, isn’t there a way we can do a deep inner investigation as to whether we are actually fatefully bound to such experiences?
Put in other words, the two binaries we’re working with are these:
- ADHD is set in stone; it’s how our brain is already made, so we have to learn how to deal with it.
- ADHD is a constructed concept and we have to de-program our tendency to blame everything on ADHD.
I am not here to pick any sides, I’m here to explore: what if both could be true? In true Seon style.
It’s the same thing as, is it generally easier to be happy when you live in a penthouse with 10 assistants vs. living in a war-ravaged town that’s being rebuilt without international support? Yes. But at the same time, isn’t it possible to be happy in the latter? Yes. How do we apply that to ADHD?
Dependent Arising
In order to win the lottery, we have to buy a lottery ticket. But buying a ticket doesn’t necessarily guarantee a lottery win. When we stop buying a ticket because of the low odds, we’re guaranteeing that we won’t ever win the lottery.
In order to get a job, we have to apply for the job. But applying for the job doesn’t necessarily guarantee the job. When we stop applying for jobs because of the low odds, we’re guaranteeing that we won’t ever get the job.
When we have to finish our tasks, we have to do our tasks. But there are times when we attempt our tasks but our attempts don’t necessarily guarantee completion. When we stop our attempts because of the low odds, we’re guaranteeing that we won’t ever finish the tasks.
The point I’m trying to illustrate with the above examples is, when we set ourselves up to do something there’s an essential component to doing that thing. If I need to eat, I need to eat something; that’s the goal of eating. But if I’m spending all my time prepping the materials and cooking and not actually eating, of course cooking has to do with eating but you’re not doing the thing you’re supposed to be doing.
I recently tried making a new recipe for shrimp toast, or menbosha. I started making it prior to getting hungry but I didn’t realize the frying time for this dish would be so low; I got very hungry near the end but because I didn’t take into account the temperature difference between the oil and the food, it was ruined.
But I needed to feed my wife pronto because she needed to go to work. So because I didn’t make any contingency plan for the shrimp toast getting fucked up, I failed at the primary task I was supposed to do: feed my wife.
Practical Steps
Do we need to be excited for our work in order to do it? Of course, it helps, but it’s not a requirement. Does everything need to be rewarding for us to do something? Again, it helps, but it’s not essential. Do we need to know the priority of something, the deadline of something, and the understanding of something? Most importantly, do we need to want to do something in order to do it?
In my personal experience, the last question is the most essential question people aren’t asking themselves when it comes to action. We don’t do so many things that are good for us simply because we don’t want to do something.
But is it required of us to want to do something in order to do it? Isn’t it possible to do something we don’t want to do?
Some will want to jump to a conclusion like this: “Billy, are you advocating that people work against their will?”. No, I’m asking if it’s possible for us to observe the middle way between:
- I HAVE to want to do things to do them
- I CAN’T do things I don’t want to do
What happens when you do something you don’t want to do, because it is something you want or is good for you? What happens when you don’t do something you want to do, because it is something you want or is good for you?
What happens when you do something despite not wanting to do it? Your personal reaction to this will reveal so much about why your mind has warped its current set of beliefs to itself. Is that understanding necessary? Not really, all you need to do is just do the work. But that knowledge and wisdom from within will greatly help future endeavors to your inner world.
And with access to deeper parts of your inner world, and as you do more things to get your life moving in the direction you want… You will be able to unequivocally say to yourself: “I can do anything I decide to do”.