When we think of physical illness, there usually are visible symptoms. If you’re jaundiced you’d have a different color, if you’re crippled you’d walk with a limp. When we think of mental illness, it’s a bit different because you can show no signs of illness but still suffer greatly inside.
With that said, even inside the wide umbrella of mental illness there is variance; some mental illnesses have externally visible symptoms. With Tourette’s you will hear repeating tics. With bipolar or borderline you are likely to experience their triggered states. Wow, that was three sentences that started with with. These are topics you’d work with a therapist or psychiatrist on.
Then we have mental issues that aren’t quite illnesses, but still sucks to deal with. This is where coaching tends to come in. With topics like weight loss, there’s a clear before and after. With getting fitter, there’s a clear before and after. With sobriety, there’s a clear before and after. The thing about procrastination is, it’s responsible for so much suffering but it has no obviously visible before and after.
Because of this, people who procrastinate tend to suffer in silence. This is when shame likes to enter the picture. There are no tangible, clear reasons for us to constantly push away our tasks. Other people seem to be thriving, but it’s just you who can’t get your shit together. You need to be doing more, and every second you’re not doing more you’re lagging behind — but this builds up more stress and it effectively prevents you from taking action.
When we classify ourselves as procrastinators, we are well aware of all the reasons why we SHOULD take action. But are we aware of all the reasons why we SHOULDN’T take action? Of course we resist action because of reasons like discomfort and overwhelm, but underneath that vague umbrella feeling there is a lot of missing detail.
For example, as a student why should you study for your SAT’s? There are so many detailed reasons to study for it, like:
- Your college entrance can depend on it, which can give you more options when it comes time to decide
- Your vocabulary will improve
- If you do well on the first SAT, you can save a lot of time because you don’t need to take a second one
And so on. But outside of “I don’t want to”, what are the actual detailed reasons to NOT study?
This is where the reasons will feel very personal. Of course failure feels bad in general, but you would remember vividly the first time you got your face slapped by your mom when you had a bad test result. Of course not getting things right will feel bad in general, but that doesn’t quite capture the feeling of your sibling getting praise for catching on to things faster than you.
All of these moments leave a deep psychological imprint in your mind and get to control what you do or don’t do. When you don’t have any internal witnesses to see you in your moment of shock as you cover your face, to ask you how you’re feeling when you’re compared by your sibling — you freeze in time, with that wound still feeling fresh in your heart.
Learning how to walk the unshaming path and witnessing yourself, listening to the inner wisdom instead of the inner critic, these things undoubtably help with getting yourself to feel better about inaction. Some would be able to move into action with this renewed sense of self-connection. But here’s the thing: it is in the human mind to prefer inaction over action if the end results seem the same. Our minds are designed for optimum efficiency so if no work gets the job done, why do work?
So in counteracting procrastination, we can benefit from a dual approach of unshaming AND karma-building. If you cannot be in a place where you’re witnessing yourself because you’re overwhelmed by inner critics, you cannot apply the dharma. But just by witnessing yourself, you cannot build positive habits that counteract the human mind’s basic tendencies. The dual approach ensures that your path to action is covered from all bases.
AND!
You can experience what it’s like to work with this kind of an approach when you come to my free in-person workshop on May 30th, 3PM at Valley Hot Yoga (21015 Oxnard St, Woodland Hills, CA 91367). I look forward to meeting all of you to talk about action in your life!
