For being such a common everyday part of life, failure gets such a bad rep. Failure is what allowed for you to be where you are today, and do you ever stop to thank failure?
Well, what if you don't like where you are right now? Then why would you thank failure? Let's talk about this in a few different scenarios.
One person failed to get a promotion.
One person keeps failing to land a technique at jiujitsu.
One person fails to keep their marriage.
These are common scenarios where we feel bad because we've failed, or in the process of failing.
Promotions happen in a limited slot. When I don't get promoted, it means someone else was chosen over me. I feel like I not only failed, but rejected.
It's even worse when you feel like you've put in so much more time compared to the other person, and you believe you're so much better and more capable than the person who got the promotion.
When you're first learning jiujitsu it feels like you're just incapable of doing this thing that all the other people have no problem doing.
You've done the rep hundreds of times just like the other gymmates but it seems like you're the only person who doesn't get it.
Marriages break apart for different reasons but you can't shake the feeling that it's because you did something wrong, like you're unlovable. If only you were more forgiving, more attractive, et cetera.
Or it may be the opposite, like why didn't I see the signs? Why did I let this continue on for such a long time? Why did I do this to myself?
In the beginning of this writing I told you that failing is what allowed for you to be where you are today. But if this is where you're at right now, where did you come from?
Well, you come from being a baby. And don't mention this to my baby nephew, but babies are really dumb. I guess I can say this because (not because I'm his uncle!) I was also a baby once.
My nephew can't even multiply. His jiujitsu is so crappy because he doesn't know jiujitsu at all, and il ne parle pas français even though his mom speaks it!
He never made a cent in his life, what a freeloader! He never even had anything remotely close to a girlfriend. To be honest I'm not sure if he even has friends!
All of this sounds super harsh, but this is how babies really are and this is how you really were too at the beginning of your life. You weren't capable of anything!
Through all the failures in your life you got to a point of being able to achieve so many things you take for granted now.
But at the same time, it's true; compared to your ideals, you still might suck. Both are true at the same time.
When you compare yourself to where you came from, you are always a spectacular miracle that failed themselves upward.
When you compare yourself to an ideal state you want to be at, you will always be a sour disappointment who keeps failing to reach the state.
Will you live today as a spectacular miracle, or will you live today as a sour disappointment? That choice is up to you.
Here's your actionable gift from me today. It helps to understand how you think about things so you can strategize around how to start choosing your thoughts differently. Understand how your brain works by taking my renewed Submodality quiz.
Billy Seol
July Life Coach
julylifecoach.com
