Today is my 11th wedding anniversary with my wife but we have this thing where we both forget this date. In stereotypical Korean media it’s usually the guy who forgets the anniversary while the wife sits quietly in resentment, only for the guy to find out one day later what yesterday was but thankfully we don’t have this problem because we both forget.
Perhaps it’s because we have so many different dates. We legally got married on September 1st for paperwork reasons. We did our ceremony on the 13th but we had our honeymoon on the 14th. Since plane tickets are always a source of stress for me I had this date of “14th”drilled into my head so I keep thinking, is it the 13th or the 14th? And it turns out my wife has the same problem. Ha!
This anniversary is a bit special because it is the first anniversary after our big 10 year one where we decided on a new direction in our marriage. Instead of me being the primary driver of where we live and what we do, it will now be my wife who makes the shot. So last year we decided to explore different places we could live in.
These kinds of big plans always have the possibility of fizzling out after a big celebratory “yay” moment. But with my renewed affinity for action thanks to my Buddhist practices we booked the plane tickets, found a place to stay, got a home sitter, and did all the other things required of a one month stay in the beautiful city of Paris.
I was very aware of the possibility of disappointment because I went with a completely open mind. “Wow, Paris is great as a tourist but living here kinda sucks”. This was something I was very, very willing to feel and even if I felt that it would be good because it just tells us what to look for in the next city we will explore.
But Paris completely blew our expectations and we just sort of had this unspoken understanding that this was it. We’re still going to explore other places and keep an open mind, but the experiences we had in Paris along with the self-realizations we experienced were enough to give us a completely different outlook on life.
I’m 38 years old, and I know I’m on the young side of life. But even I know that it’s so easy for years to just pass by without any progress on the things I dream of, I’ve lived my life like that for so many years. With that I’m so unbelievably proud of the year that we had, filled with decisions, actions, and completions.
With further explorations of possibilities in France come more difficulties and challenges. Par example, j’ai besoin de parler français. I don’t make a ton of money and immigration let alone moving costs a lot of money. But we’re not afraid of anything because we are truly open to all the possibilities, including staying here and being happy with the life that we have here.
It’s 11 years but it really feels like the 1 year anniversary of our marriage 2.0. I hope to give you more exciting updates about the 2 year anniversary of our marriage 2.0. Happy anniversary to us.
Billy Seol
July Life Coach
julylifecoach.com
