Today morning I got a phone call from a dear neighbor of mine. We had recently played some board games together with great joy and I thought she was perhaps reaching out to schedule the next one. But she wanted to talk about something a lot more interesting (to me): she was interested in learning meditation from me.
I teach meditation all the time, whether it be to clients or people on the internet. But to have a neighbor who primarily knows me and interacts with me as a neighbor be interested in meditation AND to consider me as their guide to themselves… I think that’s a great honor. We decided to meet in the evening and in the blink of an eye the day had passed and I visited their home with my meditation mat.
My neighbor offered me a bowl of food. It was a warm bowl of caramel tofu tapioca. It was a simple offering but it meant so much to me, and to understand why it means so much to me I have to tell you a bit about, you guessed it, the Buddha.
The concept of a monk existed before the Buddha, so when Gautama Siddhartha left his home of Kapilavastu in pursuit of the truth he became a monk or an ascetic. Monks renounce the world and do not participate in the karmic chains of society. This has three implications for everyday life.
- Monks do not generate or buy their own food; they eat leftovers.
- Monks do not wear fancy clothes or buy them; they wear drapes used to cover corpses.
- Monks do not stay in homes and live there; they sleep under trees or in caves.
Monks have their food, clothing, and shelter taken care of so they have nothing to concern themselves with outside of their pursuit of the truth. This is obviously easier said than done, and that’s why they are respected when they actually follow this practice.
Siddhartha became the Buddha and after his Buddhahood he remained a monk. Although he spent his entire life spreading the dharma, he didn’t do it to people who didn’t ask for it. He only gave the dharma when people consulted him and asked for it.
One method of requesting and asking for the dharma was through food, and this is where the tradition of monks blessing people after receiving alms from them originated from (you see this often in Theravada Buddhism in Southeast Asia).
My neighbor wanted to pay me for my services but I had no intention of being paid because teaching meditation is something I can totally do as a neighbor, not a professional life coach. But through her offering we exchanged the centuries old tradition of using food as a medium for the exchange of dharma.
It’s a simple exchange, but it respects the dharma as something the requestor would happily give one of their possessions for, and on the other side the giving of dharma is the best way to repay someone who has sustained your life. Today was just the starting point and we’ll thank this humble tofu meal for our happiness.
Billy Seol
July Life Coach
julylifecoach.com
